Thursday, August 13, 2009

Bring Out the Bottle Again

Confirming IVF Failure


Just as I suspected. I am not pregnant. Another failed IVF cycle. Get me a drink now. A bottle of red or 3 will do nicely thanks.

Whilst my tell-tale breasts gave it all away, my sneaky suspicion was reinforced last night when giving myself a dose of Crinone gel. That suspicion was also confirmed at a visit to ladies room around lunch time today.

It's hard to believe that one could inspect toilet paper so thoroughly!!! Scouring through the folds to see if a flash of red has started to appear. Creepy I know but something any woman I know who hopes to get pregnant has done.

Another failed round of IVF. The last cycle was much more upsetting. After so many failures the expectation of pregnancy diminishes but the hope somehow gets stronger. Surely my turn will come. IVF is a numbers game - hopefully the more times you throw one in, eventually your odds come up. To add insult to the wound, I also have to sit through yet another blood test tomorrow to tell me what I already know. BFN (Big Fat Negative - for the uninitiated).

Expecting a week of intermittent tears. Interested friends - happy for you to make comments on this blog but please don't ask any questions or offer any condolences if seeing me in a public venue - it brings up too much emotion. Me thinks I deserve a red.

Perhaps this is an idea for tomorrow's blog - how friends can handle their fragile friends who are undergoing IVF. Now - where was that red. One glass will do fine given I have not had a drink in ages!!!!

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